


I Wanna Be You (HIATUS CUZ I HAVE NO INSPO-)

by i_love_fuzzy_blankets



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anime, Death, Depressed Iwaizumi Hajime, Depressing, Eating Disorders, Gore, Haikyuu - Freeform, Impersonation, Inspired by Music, Iwa-chan going through some shit, Kageyama angst, Karasuno, Murder, Seijoh - Freeform, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Song fic, Volleyball, all cuz tooru fucked up, but like i wanted to make it semi-realistic, haikyuu angst, hopefully i portrayed emotions right, i feel bad, i mean i do-, idk what else to tag-, idk y im hurting him like this-, im sorry-, insanity?? maybe-, ive never had someone disappear because they killed someone and turned into the person they killed, jk i dont-, kageyamas dead sorta, lyrics, oikawa angst, oikawas dead sorta, self-neglect, sorta - Freeform, sorta inspired by danganronpa zero
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:47:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26365924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_love_fuzzy_blankets/pseuds/i_love_fuzzy_blankets
Summary: basically a fic inspired by Brutus by Buttressor where kageyama and oikawa die but not really?(this has been on hiatus for a while but i was to lazy to update the title lmao- im working on other fics tho-)
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	I Wanna Be You (HIATUS CUZ I HAVE NO INSPO-)

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh hi if your reading this-

Until he appeared I was the star, the talk of the team. Until he appeared I was great... Until he appeared I had never wanted to kill anyone.

_I've been watching him for my entire life I hate the air he breathes,_

_his foolish decrees, his words so contrived_

_& I hate the way the townspeople gather outside_

_they hang on every breath, cling to his chest, home to his heart full of pride_

He was the new leader now, I was nothing... He ruled the court and I was left in his shadow... When he came to ask for help, I refused him with joy. He kept trying though, it got on my nerves. My urge to kill him grew stronger. And it continued as he grew, and adapted. It was like a flower blooming inside me, but it never fully flowered. 

_I love you & if you want I'll call you king_

_but why do I lie awake each night thinking_

_instead of you, it should be me?_

Others told me all the anger was probably my denial of my love and desire for him. Maybe they were right, maybe... But it never felt like that. At night I would have thoughts of strangling him, the look on his face, like a scared little puppy, it brought me so much joy. Maybe it was love...

_Please know my actions are not motivated only by envy_

_I too have a destiny_

_this death will be art_

_the people will speak of this day from near and afar_

_this event will be history_

_& I'll be great too_

_I don't want what you have_

_I wanna be you_

In the end, it was never love. Love would never drive you to kill the person. Though I thoroughly enjoyed the look of terror and shock on his face as I strangled him. His screams filled me with more joy than my imagination ever could. The vibrations his throat gave out as he was yelling felt good on my coarse hands. The way he tried to fight back against me and slowly gave up as he lost oxygen made me feel something I'd haven't felt in a long time... Power. And it felt good. Really good. When he did end up dying I felt sort of sad, I wanted to see him give up, knowing it was me.

Not knowing what had come over me I kinda stood there in shock realizing I had indeed just killed someone. Realizing that everybody would know somethings up if Tobio didn't show up to school again and that they would probably find the body and figure out that I killed him, I tried to figure out ways to hide the body. And nothing came to mind... Except for one thought, that had plagued him for as long as Tobio had been alive... _'I wanna be you'_. He could become Tobio Kageyama. Nobody would remember him anyways...

Grabbing a garbage bag and knife from the kitchen I went back into the living room. Using the knife I made it easier for Tobio's body to be disposed of and not as suspicious. But before doing so examination was key. Before I had just analyzed some of his physical restrains and abilities during volleyball, but if I was really to become him I would have to be exactly like him. Measuring him everywhere, and carefully examining him, and his features I realized that I could pull this off. 

Throwing the sack over my shoulder I threw the body into the garbage can. I needed to dye my hair, and quick. Who knows when ~~Tobio's~~ _my_ parents would be home. Running to the hair salon I called to make an appointment, saying I needed it as soon as possible. I had taken a picture of Tobio's hair before I disposed of him so I could use it as a reference. Luckily a client hadn't shown up so I took their spot. The hair-dresser nailed the style and made his hair ever look the same texture, I knew it would go away eventually so I should probably come back here a lot. 

Arriving home I noticed ~~Tobio's~~ _my_ parents weren't home yet. So I guess I didn't have to worry just yet. I tried to practice some mannerisms similar to Tobio's and tried talking like him. It didn't sound right at first, but with the rest of today, and the whole weekend to practice I sounded just fine. It took some work getting into character and acting like him but in a few months, I had completely forgotten about my life before, as Oikawa Tooru. It was strange not seeing Iwa-chan, and all the others on Seijoh, but I had to do it, it was the only way to feel better. Plus they would forget about Oikawa soon, they never like him anyways, he was weak, and I, Tobio Kageyama am strong.

* * *

No one had heard from Oikawa since last Friday, and Hajime was beginning to worry. Even though he acted as if he hated Oikawa, he actually really loved him. So much that it hurt going to school at not seeing him, he missed Tooru's 'Iwa-chan's and all his stupidity, he even missed his rants about 'Tobio-chan'. Hajime isolated himself and stopped talking to people. He just wanted to see Tooru again, he wanted to hug him, call him 'Shittykawa', yell at him for his rants but secretly enjoy his passion in the topics he delved into. And most of all he just wanted to kiss him, he wished he'd confessed to Tooru before he left. Hajime mainly stayed in his room, he skipped volleyball and even school trying to figure out where Tooru could be. 

One day he decided to come and watch the match between Seijoh and Karasuno. He hid in the crowd so none of his teammates could see him, he didn't want to give them false hope he was coming back. Seijoh lost, with the loss of two of their best players, and friends, how could they win, and still feel like a team on top of that. When Karasuno was leaving Hajime grabbed Kageyama, and told the rest of Karasuno he wanted to talk to Kageyama alone. Kageyama recognized Hajime's voice, and told his team he'd be right back.

"Hey, Kageyama, do you know anything about Tooru's disappearance?"

"No, not at all, I was curious if you knew anything actually, sorry for not being of use. I'll let you know if I figure something out..."

"It's no problem Kageyama, I'll let you know if I figure something out too." Hajime turned and left, and Kageyama let out a sigh of relief, Hajime couldn't figure out what had really happened, if he did Kageyama was screwed. 

Hajime noticed Kageyama's sigh as he left but thought nothing of it, maybe he was nervous about me telling him that something happened to Tooru? Well, Hajime wouldn't dwell on it now. He had more important things to worry about, like why Kageyama's voice sounded much more similar to Tooru's than before...

**Author's Note:**

> This was way longer than I expected it to be-
> 
> Also if anyone reads this do you want a second chapter?


End file.
